The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
