Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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