You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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