I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize