I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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