so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
