Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize