Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
