Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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