No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
