No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
