Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
