my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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