3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
