Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
