So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
