i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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