Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
People in love make me want to vomit
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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