We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
