Kiss
Puke
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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