I just made out with a guy for $7.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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