you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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