Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
