whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
