Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize