Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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