Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
