Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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