Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my phone needs a breathalizer
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
