Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize