Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
