I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
