I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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