well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize