hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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