I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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