the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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