Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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