as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
