Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
