Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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