what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
