I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
