OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I need water and some morals
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