in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
