Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
