Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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