How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
