Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
