Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
