Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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