toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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