No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
