I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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