It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize