but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
