sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i came on her dog
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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