I have demons in me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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