dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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