Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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